“God, what are you doing in my heart in this season?”
It’s a question I’ve asked God recently and I’m still yet to get an answer.
I told Him that what He’s doing is uncomfortable and it hurts, so He’d better make it worth it!
Do you ever have conversations like that with God? You know nothing is wasted with Him and yet you feel the need to remind Him not to waste especially the most difficult of seasons.
Though I like to give God my two cents about what He is doing in me, I know He’s doing it for good reason. I know it’s all part of the process of becoming more like Jesus. After all, if that’s what I prayed for I should expect God to answer that prayer, right?
And yet, it doesn’t make the process any easier. It doesn’t make it any less painful.
Through the pain and discomfort, I’ve learned to remind myself not to fight the good work God is doing in my heart. Because when it involves the heart, it’s life-changing stuff!
To give that statement some added credibility here’s some evidence from Scripture to help you see just how life-changing it is when you allow God to do divine surgery on that precious heart of yours:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8
“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Proverbs 27:19
As you can see, matters of the heart are a big deal. Letting God in to do His thing in the depths of your heart is raw, real, messy, painful, and very uncomfortable. But it’s so worth it.
If that’s where you’re at in this season, I get it. I also encourage you to sit in the discomfort because what lies on the other side is far greater. In the meantime, to gain perspective, try asking God the question “what are you doing in my heart?” so that you can work with Him rather than resist Him.
As I currently wait for God’s answer on what I know isn’t an easy question, I reflect on when I’ve asked Him the same question in past seasons, what His answers were and what He did in me.
I do it so I don’t get consumed by the hurt, frustration and disappointment of where I am. I do it to remind myself that I won’t be in this place forever. I do it to remember God’s goodness and faithfulness.
So, in this blog post I share some of the answers God has given me over the seasons. Maybe you can identify with one or two.
“I’m reordering your priorities”
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21
This answer came in a season where my definition of success echoed the world rather than God’s Kingdom. I was chasing after the things that were temporal and not eternal and it was reflected in how I spent my time and resources.
My priorities were all messed up.
So, God did a thing. A very frustrating thing, I might add.
At the time, I was angry. Now, I’m grateful.
I now see that the work God did in my heart in that season caused a necessary shift in what I valued. This reordered my priorities to things of eternal value and influenced what I chose to invest my time and resources in.
The result? A greater sense of fulfilment as I focused more on the things that carried eternal significance.
“I’m gearing you towards others”
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” Psalm 26:2
Now, this was the most convicting answer! I received it in a season where I had asked God to test me and reveal my motives. It wasn’t pretty.
You probably won’t look at me the same way after you read this, but I’ll take this opportunity to say – I’m only human! And so are you.
At the time, on the surface my life looked like it was laid down for others. I was serving inside and outside the four walls of the church and doing all the “right” things. Yet, my motives weren’t pure.
God helped me realise that rather than simply serving out of a desire to bless others, a part of me was doing it for the accolade, secretly hoping I would receive praise in return. That revelation came through a humbling season in ministry. I then went on a journey that brought me to a place of seeking God’s affirmation above all else.
It came back to loving God and loving others.